watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Terrible idea I love it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
