You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
