so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
