I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
