Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize