my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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