unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
