I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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