She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
