i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
