Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
