Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry vachement hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(404): View more from Georgia

I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.

Fav 9 5459 1386
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.

Fav 42 6271 858
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(662): View more from Mississippi

they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.

Fav 10 2935 1477
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.

Fav 3 93 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?

Fav 0 87 6
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT