You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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