I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
