Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
40s are totally the cure
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
