I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
