I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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