Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
