we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
