fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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