I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
