I puked a lego.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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