I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
