Is it normal to miss your booty call?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
