This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize