I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
