She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
is that a dick in a sweater?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
