how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
