DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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