I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
