Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
