North Korea, Best Korea!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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