Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
