i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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