Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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