dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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