so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
