Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
