There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
