Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize
