I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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