After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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