drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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