the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
