my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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