I wanna bring you to show and tell
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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