My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
