this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
