I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
