I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the condom got lost in my hair
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
