RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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